Wednesday, January 30, 2013

Online Dating Tips

People are busy and they like online dating. They rush from place to place. Sometimes, they can find no time to seek out a possible mate or partner or companion. They may not even be able to locate someone to go to a movie with, no strings attached. For them, the answer may be the internet.

Online dating is actually an extension of an older practice – the matchmaker. It is a newer form of this practice. Its possibilities are immense; its abuses are legendary. You require a computer. It helps if you have some computer skills. Yet, you can learn these as you go along.

The internet has thousands of sites offering everyone the chance to find someone. There are dating sites for gays, adults, seniors, women, men, married couples, Buddhists, Christians and more. The chance of finding someone with your specific interest increases when you join a chat room or dating site. So, too does the “kook” factor. It often depends upon the site.

Picking a site is important. While there are free internet dating services out there, they may be really “out there.” It is a case of “You get what you paid for” or “Buyer beware.” On free sites, there is little or no control of who signs up. Anyone can claim he or she is anyone. As a result, if you can only afford such a dating service, be very careful. Do not take everything they e-mail you at face value. Never arrange your first face-to-face date in a private place. Always meet in some public venue.

The same is true for even the most expensive dating sites. Yes, they can become costly. It depends upon how much you are willing to pay. These sites have more restrictions. There are more controls in place. This does not mean, however, you can blithely accept everything as true. Admit it, you have probably fudged at least a little of the details of your profile. It is human nature.

Select your site carefully. Be as truthful as you can in posting your profile. Be honest in your preferences and intentions. Do not lead anyone on. Post a picture, but do not provide for all to see any personal information. This includes your address, phone number and e-mail. This is for your own protection. Use only the provided address to receive your e-mail and potential first dates. This will help you sort out the sincere people from the weirdoes.

Always be careful about who you think you are conversing with on line. The internet is all about knowing someone anonymously. Some people use it to fulfill their fantasies. They post their true picture but their conversation is from their alter ego. You need to sort through the phonies and the pretenders to find the person you want to ask out on a date. Do not rush the process. Take your time to determine whether the person you are “chatting with” is the person you are chatting with.

Setting Up The Date

When you decide to meet up for the first time, you will still need to consider several precautions. Talking to someone online can give you a false sense of intimacy. You need to step back. You do not really know this person. You only know what she has told you. In effect, you are asking someone out on a blind date.

Asking her out will not be difficult. You have plenty of space between you and her. You can even stick to a prewritten script. Just remember, once you hit the send key, it is a done deal. Nevertheless, treat your proposal as you would a face-to-face meeting. The only difference is you will be asking her if she would like to meet you. You can state a specific time and place. If she does not live in your community, this may complicate matters. Nevertheless, you should arrange for this first real time, real people date before you move to the next level.

Where To Go

Always meet in a public place. Never invite her into your home or meet there. It is important the two of you get together somewhere public and busy. This will ensure your safety. While the girl may be genuine, there is the chance she is not. A quiet restaurant, a public square, a café – these are possibilities. Remember, she does not know who you really are, either. It will put her at ease if you set your first date in a coffee shop or some place as public.

Yes, you can be adventurous in planning your first date. You may want to take her to a rock climbing wall or go roller/ice skating. You can visit the zoo or a fair. These are all busy places. Both of you will feel a sense of security. The activities will also give you something to talk about before, during and afterwards.

What To Avoid

If she lives out of town, do not offer her your home. Do not say you will pay the entire sum for her to visit. Do not accept an offer to stay at her place. There are too many implications behind such arrangements. There are also possible safety issues involved. You need to ensure the protection of you and of your date.

Online first dates have their problems. Yet, by following basic precautions and common sense, you can enjoy your first date offline with your online girl. 

While asking for your first date can be a minefield, it doesn’t have to be. You can make it a pleasurable experience. You simply need to prepare yourself. Whether you are a young adult or a senior, asking her out is simpler if you do your research. Find out whether you have a chance, first. Know what she likes to do. Base your proposal on this information and your chances of success will increase.

Make sure you look and smell your best when you ask her out. Be confident but not cocky. Ask her succinctly either directly or indirectly. If she rejects you, it is not the end of the world. Learn from it. Go back and next time, you may succeed. After all, dating is more an art than a science. 

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